Some would talk to me with an openness I would not be expecting. They would appear happier, always smiling like Mormon missionaries do in that fake sort of way. People said Kairos was a life changing event, and the students returning supported that claim completely. The people returning immediately after Kairos made me even more nervous. I couldn’t find anyone returning from Kairos who would break character and reveal the truth. This misinformation campaign by those who had already gone was unusually effective. The worst suspicion was the “Naked Mass” where everyone would have to take off their clothes in some sort of weird Jesus loving orgy. One rumor was that you would be forced into sharing your darkest secrets until you cry. This created a rumor mill of speculation on what went on during the four-day long retreat. People who had already gone would simply say to the ones who had not: “It’s going to be great” or “You’re in for a real treat.” Nobody would share anything about what actually happens. There was a strong shroud of secrecy around Kairos before I went. They said there wasn’t any yelling but I’m not sure what else was different. The women seemed to have a different experience than what I went through with the men. Individual groups are personalized to some extent. Your experience may be different from mine. I disagree, if you are looking for information because you think Kairos is a cult then knowing this information will help you prepare and see the manipulation for what it is. There are supposedly “secrets” you find out during Kairos that you are not supposed to tell anyone because it will ruin the experience for them. This is in part due to the deeply secretive nature of Kairos. I found then, and still find today, that there is little information on what exactly goes on during the retreat. I’m writing these posts both to help me remember and to share with other people what to expect during Kairos. It has been 13 years since I’ve been on the retreat. No one, until now, knew all the details of my performance. The Kairos retreat was the last great defiant act of this personality I had worked so hard on. My religious essays were works of exotic fiction to test the limits of my teachers, such as the time I wrote about worshiping my friend because he was very tall. During confessions I would fabricate convoluted sins just to see what the priest would ask me to do “for penance”. Over the years prior I had perfected my own clever impersonation of a “good Catholic”, he was pious, faithful, and hilariously subversive. Kairos was the last time I was required to pretend I was religious. While I disagree intellectually with the entire premise of Kairos, I have come to look back on my retreat as bittersweet. But it’s a fake feeling, it won’t last, and it’s because people manipulated you. True, if you go in blank you might feel better after the retreat. Personally, I think it’s more fun to know what happens ahead of time. If you don’t want to reveal the Kairos Secrets before you go then don’t read this. Here is everything I remember from my experience: the “secrets” and parts I believe were blatant psychological manipulation. It was the last all out attempt by Catholicism to bring me into the fold. I was a senior at a Catholic High School, and an atheist. I remember going to Kairos almost 20 years ago.
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
AuthorWrite something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview. ArchivesCategories |